Replacing a Pet

It is easy to assume, although sadly incorrect, that replacing a pet that has died with a new one will lessen the grief and shorten the bereavement process. People will grieve despite there being a new pet at home. However, a new pet can (perhaps over a period of time) bring about a new relationship and positive emotions.

It is important that you only get a new pet when you feel that you are ready for another commitment to an animal. Talk with family or friends about your feelings; this may bring to light any latent feelings of grief that you have not been able to cope with. Ensure that your desire for having a new pet is whole-hearted, otherwise you and your new pet will not benefit from your decision.

There is some debate over what breed of pet to replace the deceased with. However, many people find it common practice to replace a pet with one from the same breed. The owner will be familiar with the needs of the animal and any unique qualities that it may be likely to display. The only danger can be that some owners are not able to treat the same breed of animal as a separate entity from their deceased pet. This can bring confused feelings and painful memories to the fore and so the owner should give careful consideration to the acquisition of his or her next pet if they feel that this is likely to happen.

It is not unknown for owners to bring in a new pet once their pet shows signs of aging and that it is near the end of its days. In some instances this can pose no problems at all. However, this is quite rare, as the new dog will have to compete for its place in the home. The older dog can feel vulnerable and threatened by the new one and may display hitherto unseen aggression towards the intruder.

Having a new pet before the old one dies will most likely not help in the grieving process and the new pet may miss and mourn the old one as well. Therefore it is advisable to accept the death of your old pet in your own way and in your own time. Search your feelings about getting a new pet after the old one has died and you are ready for a new owner/pet relationship.

Adapted from: Herbert A. Nieburg PhD & Arlene Fischer "Pet Loss" Harper Perennial, New York, 1996