Attachment

Owners can become quite attached to their pets, especially if their pet is loving and responsive, therefore, the loss of such a pet can cause grief and distress. Indeed, some pets are often such affectionate and responsive animals that people other than the owner can mourn them. It is possible to care for your pet very much, even if you may not seem 'aware' of it at the time. That is not to say that you might be an uncaring person, merely that animals often are undemanding by nature and it is possible to take their presence in our lives for granted.

Quite often it is not until a pet dies, that we truly become aware of what we had.

Pets can become great companions, especially to children and to those of advanced years. In the latter case, especially when all the children have left home, pets can be seen as new 'children' and a similar attachment may develop. Unless the relationship interferes with your quality of life it is perfectly healthy. If the pet takes precedence over many aspects of your life, it may be important to reassess your relationship with it, perhaps with the help of a qualified therapist.

Separation

Although some people may find it hard to believe, it is possible to equate the sense of grief felt by the loss of a pet to that of the loss of a relative. Of course we all react to death in different ways. Pets can provide warmth, love and companionship on a daily basis.

It follows that it can take a good deal of time to recover from the emotional impact caused by the loss of a pet, especially (but by no means exclusively) a dog or cat. Most people feel unhappy for a long time after the death of their pet. Some days will be better than others although something may occur that might trigger memories of your deceased pet. Shortly after the death has occurred those memories may provoke tears of sorrow, maybe even feelings of anger or resentment. However, after a while (perhaps a year, maybe a little more or a little less) the memories will become pleasant and the positive experiences you shared with your pet will shine through.

If you own more than one animal it is possible for the surviving animal to feel grief at the loss. The surviving pet may seem to lose its appetite, display behavior that indicates dejection and perhaps look for the missing pet. Occasionally the surviving animal may try to mimic the behavior of its deceased friend. The behavior displayed can often be akin to the grief behavior of humans. However, if such behavior does not stop after a time, and it is troubling you, it may be wise to consult a veterinarian or animal behaviorist to determine a course of action.

Adapted from: Herbert A. Nieburg PhD & Arlene Fischer "Pet Loss" Harper Perennial, New York, 1996