Let Us Give Thanks

by Peggy Sweeney Rainone

~~In loving memory of my mother, Marguerite Sweeney~~
February 2, 1921 – April 1, 2002

Fall is my favorite time of the year. I enjoy the cooler weather and the beautiful colors of Mother Nature. Crunching leaves underfoot, awesome sunsets, and bright full moons. Soon it will be time to don warm clothes and "snuggle in" for the cold, snow, and icy days of Old Man Winter.

Before we know it, the holiday season will be here with many plans to make. Family and friends will be traveling from near and far to gather around a holiday table a king were surely envy. Extra hours of cleaning house, hunting up traditional recipes, and cooking delicious, once-a-year meals will soon be incorporated into our already busy schedules. Soon, we will be caught up in the hustle and bustle of buying gifts to exchange at Christmas and Hanukah. We'll complete the festivities with the ringing in of yet another New Year. So much excitement and fun!

What is there to celebrate when someone you love has died? How can anyone be happy when they are feeling depressed and lonely? Why should you give thanks when your heart is empty and you don't seem to have a reason for living? Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Hanukah? Maybe this year, they should be canceled.

I, for one, would hate to have these important family days erased from the calendar. Perhaps we should turn every day into days of thanksgiving. Let us begin this year to focus our attention on the true meaning of the holidays. Somewhere along the way, our society has chosen a path that puts too much emphasis on the material things in life rather then the richness of our own personal gifts.

Perhaps a child has died. Maybe, for you, it was a spouse, parent, friend, or relative. What is there to be thankful for this holiday season? Give thanks for the life this special person lived. Give thanks for the love that was given and received. Give thanks for memories of days together: laughing times and crying times, of good days and bad, of celebrations and holidays past.

This year when we gather on Thanksgiving Day, let us remember those who have died. Celebrate their life by sharing memories. Mention them by name. Tell stories of special times together. Yes, there is sadness in remembering, but joy in knowing they will always live in our hearts. Memories are forever! They can never be taken away.

When we are grieving, we must remember to be thankful for our friends. They bring comfort to our hearts and give us many warm hugs to lift our spirits. We should be grateful for tears and sobs that help to remove the pain from within. For pictures and mementos of our loved one that give us something tangible to hold. For the lessons learned on our journey through grief.

On a personal note, I have many blessings to be thankful for this year. I give thanks for my family and friends. I'm thankful for sunny days, quiet hours, and my co-workers. For all the families and professionals who have placed their trust in me to help them understand and cope with their many losses. I thank God for the special people in my life who have given me love and hugs during my recent grief journey. I am especially thankful for my sister, Anita, and her family who sacrificed so much to provide a loving environment for our mother so that she would not suffer and die alone. My memories of the times I shared with mom before her death, although painful at times, will be forever in my heart. For this, I am most thankful.

About the Author

Peggy Sweeney Rainone is a dedicated and compassionate professional who is committed to making a positive impact on others. She is an EMT-B, has served as a volunteer firefighter, and has professional experience as a mortician.

Ms. Rainone exhibits a great sense of responsibility and empathy for others in need. She is the founder and president of The Sweeney Alliance. Email Ms. Rainone at: peggy@sweeneyalliance.org