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Canadian connections
in English graveyards include the second wife of Canada's first
Prime Minister but where, oh where, is Mary?
Lady
MacDonald, a continuation of Nancy's journey to England's cemeteries.
by Nancy Millar
Sir John A.
Macdonald was Canada's first prime minister. Sir John A. was a
drinker.
That's about
all we know about the poor guy. Oh, now and then there's a piece
on his politics and here and there a book about his achievements
(or not) in the fight for Confederation, but very little on Macdonald,
the husband, the father, the family man. And he was all those
things, the graveyard tells us so. Actually, that should be graveyards,
plural — four of them.
Sir John A.
himself, 1815-1891, is buried in the Cataraqui Cemetery in Kingston,
ON. His marker is not particularly impressive – a sturdy
pedestal inside an iron grille fence with an official government
plaque alongside it. It's very Canadian – modest and no-nonsense.
With him in
the family plot are his mother Helen and father Hugh, his first
wife Isabella, 1809-1857, and an infant son who died in 1848.
But there's no marker, no recognition, of his second wife Susan
Agnes Bernard, nor of their daughter Mary.
Macdonald's
first wife was an invalid who was often in such pain that she
had to "have recourse to opium, externally and internally."
That's a direct quote from one of Macdonald's letters. Somehow,
in spite of her illness and weakness, she bore two sons, young
John Alexander who died unaccountably at 13 months of age and
is buried with his father at Cataraqui and Hugh John who eventually
followed his father into politics.
Hugh John
didn't have much fun in politics either. He died in Winnipeg and
is buried in the graveyard at St. John's Anglican Cathedral in
that city, a wonderfully interesting graveyard, by the way.
But,
back to wife #2…
After Isabella's
death, Sir John A's friends had tried various matchmaking schemes
but nothing seemed to take until, entirely without their help
or knowledge, he met Agnes Bernard in London in December of 1866.
Two months later, they were married and Macdonald brought her
back to Canada as the new Lady Macdonald. She was 31; he was 52.
Not quite May/December but close.
Agnes took
to her new role like a duck to water. She entertained, she supervised,
she redecorated, she charmed, she did all those things that prime
minister's wives do. She even went so far as to ride on the cowcatcher
of a train going through the Rockies, the better, she said, to
see the glorious scenery. How could Canadians, especially western
Canadians, resist her?
And then she
had Margaret Mary Theodora, better known as Mary. It seemed as
if John A. might finally have a peaceful patch in his personal
life, if not his political life because that never got particularly
peaceful, but the child was born handicapped. She was never to
walk, never to have complete control of her hands, never to live
an independent life. Her mind was fine; it was just her body that
failed her. Her father mourned that child of his always. They
were close and wrote letters back and forth all the time, but
Sir John A. died when she was only 22. A few years later, Agnes
moved back to England and that was the last that Mary knew of
her father's country.
When Agnes
died in 1920, aged 84, she was buried in the Ocklynge Cemetery
in Eastbourne, a city south of London. I found her grave this
summer. It's like Sir John A's – substantial but not showy.
You'd never pick it out as someone important to Canada. No flag
or towering maple or anything like that. I felt rather badly for
her. She seemed so alone. It's only the words that admit her Canadian
connections. They are: "In loving memory of/ Susan Agnes/
Baroness Macdonald of Earnscliffe/ Widow of Sir John Macdonald/
Late Prime Minister of Canada."
Mary, however,
is not buried with her. I know she died in January, 1933. I have
read that she's buried in Hove, which is right next door to Eastbourne,
but she's not at the big council cemetery in Hove. I checked.
They have no record of her. I've been referred to several crematoriums
in the area and I've written to them for news of Mary, but nothing
so far. I'll keep you posted.
But if I felt
that Agnes, the second wife of our first PM, deserved a little
more attention from her husband's country, what can be said about
the fact that Mary has just disappeared?
Nancy
Millar's books about graveyards include Remember Me As You
Pass By, (stories from Alberta graveyards) and Once Upon A
Tomb (stories from Canadian graveyards.) Both are a combination
of history, story and travel. They are available from many
bookstores, see the Links provided, or from Deadwood Distribution,
e-mail nemillar@shaw.ca.
Her other books include Once Upon A Wedding - Canadian history
through actual weddings; The Famous Five: Emily Murphy and
the Case of the Missing Persons, and Once Upon An Outhouse.
Also available from Deadwood. |
Highgate
R.B.Bennett
A
Graveyard Tale Closer to Home
More
Graveyard Tales
The
REAL Sam McGee
The
Titanic Cemetery
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