Think of the Children

Difficult as it is, you need to take action and have plans just in case the unthinkable happens. It takes time and thought to choose the right guardian for your children. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

• Does he or she share your religion, child-rearing values, and lifestyle ideals? Nobody will think exactly like you on all matters, but you need to choose someone with similar values.
  

• If you're considering choosing your parents, are they physically well enough to take the job on? Will they have the energy to raise young children, and are they young enough to undertake this responsibility until your children reach the age of majority?
  

• If you're considering a friend over a family member, how will your family feel? Will you need to help your family understand the decision in advance, to reduce the possibility of disagreement after you are gone?
  
  This will help lessen the likelihood of your decision being challenged in court.
  

• Would you want this person to serve as the guardian of your children's inheritance? Are you confident that he or she could do so? (Refer to the section on financial considerations.)
  

• If you have several children, is it realistic to expect one person to act as guardian? If you're considering naming more than one guardian, will the nominees get along? Will they work together to keep the children as close as possible?
  

• Would the individual be objective and have the best interests of the children at heart? For instance, would he or she ensure your family remains actively involved in your children's lives?
  

• If children are old enough, should you ask them with whom they would like to live? There are different opinions. Only you know how your children will respond. Some experts recommend against it; as parents, you have the right to determine who is best to raise them. Keep in mind, however, that you cannot be certain the person your child may choose will be appropriate or agree to act as guardian.
  

• If your family now includes children from previous relationships, review and coordinate the guardianship appointments you and your new partner have made. Some couples have never changed named guardians, and this can result in an unexpected, but forced, separation of the children. If your decision is to separate the children, then it's even more important to make sure the children are aware and understand your decision.
  

• Complete the Choosing a Guardian Worksheet