Helping Someone Through Their Grief

When a partner, companion or spouse of many years dies, the effect can be devastating. For many people carrying on after their loss can prove to be the toughest challenge of their lives.

The surviving spouse must not be 'removed' from his/her grief. The pain that he/she will feel is natural and is part of the healing process. What is needed most of all is a listening ear, someone to give advice only when asked.

The bereaved must be allowed to discuss the death and the life they shared with the deceased. Don't offer them platitudes or pity, just expressions of affection to show that you care. Sometimes a simple hug is all that is needed.

The surviving partner will need practical help. If you are able to prepare a few meals for them, it will save them the demands of cooking for while. Go a step further and invite them to your home to dinner, the bereaved will be making some vital first steps to recovery by interacting with family and seeing the joy in life once more.

If the grief is extreme and prolonged to an extent that it is cause for concern, it may be wise to encourage the bereaved to seek professional counseling to help with the healing process.

Adapted from: "Loneliness and the Older Adult" Ministry of Citizenship, Ontario 08/91