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Helping
Children Cope With
The Holidays
by John
Kennedy Saynor
There are
many factors that hinder children in their grieving process. One
of the difficulties children have in dealing with their grief
is that they are often discouraged from expressing grief. Since
the grief of a child increases the pain adults are feeling, adults
often avoid talking with children about their feelings. Another
difficulty arises from the fact that adults do not understand
how a child grieves. These facts about the grief of a child are
especially true at the Christmas season. The following are some
point that will help children deal with the season ahead.
1. Include
children in any discussion about the holidays. It is a time
of great insecurity for them and they need the security and support
of the family.
2. Include
the children in any discussion of what Christmas Day will be like.
Ask them what they want and what they don't want. It is best to
know ahead of time what is going to happen rather than approach
the day without any plans.
3. Get
the children's ideas about an appropriate gift or donation in
memory of a loved one. Make them part of the exercise. Children
may also like the idea of putting a new decoration on the tree
in memory of the one who has died. They may also like the idea
of a special candle that would burn in memory of the one who has
died.
4. Give
the children a break from the family. If they need to spend
part of Christmas Day with their friends, let them.
5. Encourage
children to talk about the one who has died. This can be a
painful experience, but it can prove helpful in allowing them
to express their feelings.
John
Kennedy Saynor is an Anglican Priest, a licensed Funeral Director
and Coordinator of the
GENESIS Bereavement Resource Centres.
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