At The Funeral

Some parents are occasionally surprised by the extent to which their child's emotions can go. A funeral is a time for saying farewell and a child will probably understand this as being a 'sad' time but still find solace playing with the toys provided by most funeral homes. Another child may be affected in a much deeper way and physical emotions will be visible such as crying or sobbing.

Death being the one certainty in life can still come as a surprise to most of us and we all react in different ways. Children should not be expected to behave any differently.

Children can often form attachments to people that are deeper than anyone expects, e.g. a funny uncle who made them laugh or a family pet can be an intrinsic part of the child's emotional life.

Children should not be made to feel ashamed of their emotions. The parent should not express displeasure at the extent of a child's mourning because they expect the child's grief to be on a par with their own. The child should be allowed to explain how he/she felt about the deceased and the parent should listen and offer support; cuddles can help children too.

Ultimately, even though you yourself are probably suffering it is important to be there to help your child adapt and learn about this new experience.

Adapted from: "Keys to Helping Children Deal With Death and Grief" by Joy Johnson, Barron's Educational Series Inc. 1999)