Mixed Feelings

There is often a cornucopia of intense feelings related to the death of a loved one. Despite the love that the deceased may have shared with the griever, the undue guilt felt over a death is often substituted by anger over a feeling of abandonment.

Anyone experiencing grief is probably feeling that a part of them has died as well. They must let go of this thought or their grief cannot truly end. To achieve a resolution to grief, it is necessary to look to the future. Acknowledge the wonders of the past but accept that it has gone.

Negative feelings are acceptable if the positive feelings are equal or greater. Most importantly, there should be clarity to all of these feelings. If everything is in perspective then moving on should not be any greater a challenge than needs be. Future goals and dreams should shine and fit the new life that the bereaved has had to accept.

Adapted from: "Bereavement: Counseling the Grieving Throughout the LifeCycle", David A. Crenshaw